If you were a kid in the 2000s and your parents let you use their desktop computer, then there’s a solid chance that you logged quite a few hours on Neopets.com. I know that I certainly did. Neopets was first released in 1999, and it revolutionized the world of virtual pet games (which included other games like Pokemon and Tamagotchi) by allowing users to customize their pets.
You could choose your pet’s species, the pattern on its fur, the color, and more. This gave players a greater sense of connection with their Neopets and gave them even more reason to check in on them whenever their parents weren’t using the computer.
Needless to say, Neopets exploded in popularity. At its peak, the site had 25 million monthly users. And that popularity never completely fizzled out. You might be surprised to learn that millions of people still play Neopets today. Actually, if you’re reading this article, there’s a good chance you’re one of those people.
Anyway, the success of Neopets wasn’t just due to the fact that you could customize your pets. If that were the only aspect of the site, there’d be nothing to do but create new pets. No, the thing that kept users coming back was the minigames. Neopia was full of super fun minigames that would allow you to earn Neopoints when you played them. Then, you could spend those Neopoints on new accessories for your pet or new fixtures for your pet’s home.
So, in honor of one of the greatest online games ever, let’s rank the 7 best Neopets games of all time. And, if you haven’t already, it’s time to resurrect that Neopets account.
1. Turmac Roll
Obviously, there’s no way to quantify which Neopets minigame was objectively the best. But, I can tell you for sure that I, my siblings, and my friends all spent the most time playing Turmac Roll. This game is ridiculously addicting in the same way that Flappy Bird is (for all you Gen Z kids who need a point of reference). The whole idea is to control the little Turmac as he rolls through the two-dimensional forest and collects berries and other goodies while avoiding smashing into a tree stump.
While this game sounds silly and wholesome, it was actually super stressful at times. The further you made it through the forest, the faster Turmac would roll. And, believe me, when Turmac is rolling at insane speeds, and you’re just a few more jumps from setting your high score, you’re going to sweat a little bit.
2. Kass Basher
Sometimes, the simplest things in life are the most enjoyable. Such was the case with Kass Basher, a game that consisted solely of whacking Lord Kass, an evil purple hawk-like thing, as far as you can. That’s it. Lord Kass falls down from a tree branch, then you smash the spacebar at just the right time and watch him soar. Don’t worry: Lord Kass doesn’t seem to be harmed in the process despite being smashed with a spiked bat.
I should also include here that you have the option of batting with either a spiked bat, a stick, or a baguette. I’m not sure who decided to add the option to use a loaf of bread as a bat, but they deserve a promotion.
3. Ice Cream Machine
Almost all of the time, ice cream is a very good thing. However, when it comes to the Ice Cream Machine game that you could play on Neopets.com, ice cream is not your friend. In this game, you control Adee the Chia as scoops of ice cream are hurled toward you from the machine below. Your only goal is to avoid getting hit by a scoop of ice cream or else you’ll lose a life. Lose all of your lives and it’s game over.
There are some helpful scoops, though, that can give you a shield, make Adee the Chia smaller, or slow down the scoops, making them easier to avoid. This game may sound innocent but, as the levels get higher, more and more scoops are hurled at you. Soon, you’ll be dragging your mouse across your desk like a madman and shouting at your computer screen.
4. Cheat!
Cheat! is a bit different from the other games mentioned thus far on this list. Rather than seeing how quickly you can hit your spacebar or drag your mouse, Cheat! is a game of the mind. In this game, you’ll play against three computer opponents in a game of deceit, the goal of which is to rid yourself of all of your cards.
You’ll start the game with 13 cards. Then, you will have to put down an amount of cards under, above, or below the amount of cards that was put down before you. For instance, if the opponent before you puts down 5 cards, you have the option to put down 4 cards, 5 cards, or 6 cards. However, since you put your cards face down, you can “cheat” and put down a false number of cards. But, if you’re caught cheating, you’ll need to pull more cards from the pile.
5. Freaky Factory
Freaky Factory is a game that’s only for those with great multitasking abilities. In this game, you’re tasked with helping the good citizens of Kreludor run their plushy factory. The plushies are made from Kreludite, which is falling from the sky for some reason. You have to use your mouse to guide the blobs of Kreludite into the correct vat, based on the color of the blob.
Not only that, but you also have to ensure that the vats don’t overflow, meaning you have to keep an eye on their levels while you’re guiding blobs of Kreludite around, And, to make things even more stressful, a nefarious Grundo will sneak onto the screen at times and try to steal your plushies. This game is guaranteed to leave you frazzled, but it’s a ton of fun.
6. Hasee Bounce
Hasee Bounce is probably one of the more adorable games available in Neopets. It involves two chubby little Hasees catapulting each other up in the air with a seesaw. The object of the game is to collect as many doughnut fruits as possible before the time runs out. However, you can extend your time by collecting letter-shaped fruits. And, if you manage to spell out the word “Hasee”, you’ll get even more time.
However, not everything is fun and games in Hasee Bounce. There are also flying chunks of dung that you don’t want to jump into. If you do, it could mean game over. And, like most Neopets games, there are tons of special kinds of fruits that can earn you bonus points.
7. Faerie Bubbles
If you’ve ever played the classic Bubble Pop game, then you already know everything you need to know about Faerie Bubbles. The game was entirely a rip-off of Bubble Pop with a slightly prettier aesthetic. But, nonetheless, this game was a ton of fun and I definitely spent quite a few hours playing it.
The whole idea was to shoot bubbles out of a cannon so that they’d land next to other bubbles of the same kind. Every time you shoot a bubble, the row of bubbles moves down. Your task is to clear the bubbles before they get to the bottom of the screen. And, trust me, when the bubbles started creeping down, things could get stressful.
