It’s not TV, it’s HBO! That was the appropriate response for whenever your grandparents walk into the living room while you’re watching HBO and a Game of Thrones sex scene comes on. HBO pushed a lot of boundaries on mainstream TV with Game of Thrones. After all, the Game of Thrones sex scenes were some of the primary marketing hooks of the whole show.
Needless to say, the series introduced some really sexy (and weird) memories. To save you time and to steer you clear of certain dangerous websites, we’ve rated some of the wildest Game of Thrones sex scenes in case you want to reminisce or, among other reasons, for which you need sex scenes.
Tower Tryst – Cersei & Jaime (Season 1, Episode 1)
We’re kicking things off with incest, just like Game of Thrones did.
At the end of the very first episode of the series, twins Cersei and Jaime Lannister got a little too bored in Winterfell and decided to sneak and fool around like they always do.
This one’s just downright odd, given how the two’s intermission involved trying to murder a child. It might have been implied that Jaime went back to Cersei to claim his hidden title of Queenslayer on top of being Kingslayer and finish her off in pleasurable ways. The fallen kid can wait a few more seconds.
Horse-lord Humping – Daenerys & Drogo (Season 1, Episode 2)
Episode 2 doubled down on all the steaminess because it featured a groundbreaking sexual position never before seen in a fantasy setting: the woman on top! It was so revolutionary that Daenerys used it to, uh, rein the horse-lord Kahl Drogo into becoming her world-conquering stallion.
It’s all metaphorical dramatization, of course, but nonetheless, the execution was breathtaking.
Prior to that scene, a rather hot and bothered dry humping took place to maybe imply that Daenerys goes both ways. It’s the perfect way to follow up the traumatizing incest reveal of the first episode.
Theon’s Therapy – Ros & Theon (Season 1, Episode 5)
The funny thing in Game of Thrones is how some of the side characters with the lesser-known actors have more vivid sex scenes compared to the bigger names. Ros and Theon’s brothel sex scene, for example, was commendable for its choreography and character dynamics.
Theon Greyjoy, the angriest orphan in Winterfell due to being an outcast plucked from the overtly masculine Iron Islands, seeks refuge between Ros’ thighs to feel powerful and wanted, if only for a fleeting made-up moment.
While being both sexy and chaotic, you also get to know a character’s personality based on a sexual session alone. Looking back, it’s one of the reasons why early Game of Thrones was lauded for its script.
Lesbians & Littlefingers – Littlefinger, Ros, & Nameless Prostitute (Season 1, Episode 7)
Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish is a creep and a power-hungry sociopath, but you have to admit that the sex scene where he teaches Ros and a nameless prostitute a few ‘tips and tricks’ is quite a delectable treat for the viewers.
Actually, just about any scene with Ros is a treat for some reason. But Littlefingers’ narration and subtle character exposition during the ‘coaching’ revealed quite a lot about him in a sexy way.
Truth be told, it’s hard to know where to focus on this scene; should it be Littlefinger’s engaging revenge story or the lesbian tangle? Good thing there’s a rewind function now for streaming services.
Spicy Strategy – Melisandre & Stannis (Season 2, Episode 2)
Weaponized coitus is not something you’d expect even in a dark fantasy setting, but Game of Thrones made it work with a shadow baby assassin conceived through sex.
It’s all thanks to Melisandre’s red priestess juju and how she honey potted Stannis Baratheon. This strategy table sex scene is one of the few well-acted acts of humping that the show has and vigorously portrayed.
The birth of the shadow assassin baby that came afterward was what made it weird. Oh, and there’s also the fact that later seasons revealed Melisandre to be a centuries-old witch.
Baratheon Bromance – Loras & Renly (Season 2, Episode 3)
A little pep-talk about needing to pretend to be manly and straight in order to rule a chaotic realm apparently makes for good foreplay, along with blood-licking, of course. And this sex scene between Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell is just full of longing and tension.
The two were practically forced to pretend to be straight men in public and hide their true sexuality because their society puts more value on toxic masculinity.
Behind closed doors, however, their unconventional rendezvous is erotica novel material for closeted folks.
Packin’ Podrick – Podrick in the brothel (Season 3, Episode 3)
Even Pordick Payne got in on the action.
Well, the thanks goes to Tyrion Lannister for rewarding the promising lad. Granted, the Podrick Payne sex scene in the brothel was never really explicitly shown, apart from some risque visual foreplay.
The showrunners left a lot to the imagination of the viewers as to how and why the prostitutes ended up paying Podrick instead of the other way around. Fan-fic writers ought to have a field day with this one.
Sloppy Snow-job – Jon & Ygritte (Season 3, Episode 5)
‘Snow job’ is a legitimate phrase, by the way– and in this scenario, it fits wholeheartedly. Jon Snow, acting as a double agent for the Night’s Watch, decided to have a little R&R with Ygritte, and lo and behold, he yet again used another sexual move that proved groundbreaking for medieval fantasy: cunnilingus.
It turned Ygritte from a fling into a lovey-dovey barbarian girlfriend who will die for Jon. Never has cunnilingus been used as a plot device like this in TV history.
Too bad it wasn’t as vivid as the other Game of Thrones sex scenes, but in Jon Snow’s case, less is more, and imagination proved to be quite sexy indeed.
Oberyn’s Orgy – Oberyn & whoever he wanted (Season 4, Episode 3)
It’s Pedro Pascal in a bisexual, impetuous warrior role; what’s not to like? He certainly made more than an impression in his role as Oberyn Martell by organizing one of the most high-profile orgies in King’s Landing (in the series’ timeline, at least).
Again, it’s not as overt or as descriptive as the side characters’ sex scenes, but the orgy (preceded by a stabbing of a Lannister soldier) made for a perfect introduction for Oberyn’s equal parts badass and sexy character.
This was Game of Thrones reminding the viewers what they were watching.
Nephew Nailing – Daenerys & Jon (Season 7, Episode 7)
Just as Game of Thrones sparked off its events with incest, it would also catalyze the beginning of its ending with, well, more incest. This time, it’s courtesy of the Targaryens, Daenerys, and her nephew Jon Snow, a.k.a. Aegon something (too many to count).
In this disturbing yet titillating amalgam of sexy and weird, Jon Snow thought he could finally have a proper relationship with Daenerys after his first girlfriend died in his arms. Turns out she’s his aunt, and they only find out after that sensual ship sex. It was the calm before the storm and before Season 8’s eventual arrival.
You can excuse them for the incest. Because, in true Jon Snow fashion, he knows nothing.