Love is in the air and so is the feeling that you’re not loved enough. A little too strong for an opening? Maybe, but let’s be honest and vulnerable for a moment. While love is strongest when it comes from within, we first learn what it means to love and be loved from the love that other people show us. When that disappears or if we feel it’s absent, we can sometimes feel that we somehow aren’t worthy of love.
Feel is the operative word here. As in the suit of swords, where the ethereal swords are mental rather than real, the feeling of being unloved is often subjective and far from the truth. That truth being that a lot of us are a lot more loved than we realize.
These love tarot spreads for singles, or anyone who’s feeling disconnected in their relationships, are meant to get you back in touch with the ways love appears in your life.
A Love Tarot Spread for Singles Who Want to Know if They’re Ready for a Relationship
The Confession Spread
Telling someone you like them can be daunting, but so is figuring out whether you should even tell them you like them in the first place. This love tarot spread for singles was made to help you identify why you feel the need to make your feelings known and how you would feel in the event that you’re feelings are mutual…or not.
The idea behind this spread is to get you centered in your emotions and pre-emptively deal with the feelings you would have as a result of confessing what you feel.
- Why do I feel compelled to reveal my true feelings?
- What would it be like if my feelings were reciprocated?
- What would it be like if my feelings were not reciprocated?
- Regardless of whether my feelings are reciprocated, how would confessing bring me peace?
The Readiness for Love Spread
Sometimes what stands in the way of love is that we feel we’re not ready for love. Tarot cards can be an amazing tool for self-care and connecting with your inner self, even if you don’t believe in their mystical properties. This readiness for love spread is meant to uncover the emotional blockages you may have now and why you have these limiting beliefs based on previous experience.
As we’ve talked about in our article on secular tarot, the cards can be useful for facilitating healthier self-talk and processing emotions because the way we interpret them gives us access to thoughts and feelings we normally ignore or are unable to notice.
- What blocks me from being open to love?
- What do previous relationships/relationship opportunities have in common that have put me off of love?
- What can I do to heal and ready myself for a relationship?
The Romantic Options Spread
Love is confusing and that’s okay! Ambiguity makes room for possibilities to emerge, but at some point, you have to make a decision about how you want to proceed in love. While you might not necessarily be the type to date multiple people at once — at the stage before any commitments are made, that is — you may be interested in multiple people or have multiple people interested in you. When they all seem like lovely people, it’s hard to choose one out of however many.
This love tarot spread for singles is for the single folks who are ready to commit to someone but aren’t exactly sure which someone it’s going to be.
- What is my role in this situation?
- What is it that I admire most about Person 1?
- What is it that I admire most about Person 2?
- What keeps me from fully committing to Person 1?
- What keeps me from fully committing to Person 2?
The Love Awareness Spread
The Love Awareness spread can be your go-to spread for reconnecting with the raw power of your emotions and reminding yourself that you are loved and have a lot of love to offer the world. This spread stretches the idea of love outside of the romantic into the platonic, familial, and devotional to let you become aware of all the passion you have to offer the world.
A common misconception about The Lovers (VI) major arcana card is that it’s a card exclusively about romantic love. But as some tarot practitioners interpret it, the minor arcana deal in the mundane while the major arcana deal with the cosmic. The Lovers, in this sense, are more about where we find partnership, passion, unity, and certainty of choice or, as I like to put it, lust for life. This Love Awareness spread operates in the same spirit.
- Why do I feel unloved? What keeps me from being aware of all the love I already receive?
- What are the ways I take the love around me for granted?
- What love is available to me through my friendships?
- What love is available to me through my family?
- What love is available to me from myself?
- What love do I offer my passions? What is it that I devote myself to the most?
- What love do I have in store for the world?
- What is the light in me that draws others to love me?
The Self-Love Spread
Love may be a touchy subject, but often it’s easier for us to find something to love in others and in things external to ourselves. A common thread among many people who ask me to help them do a love reading is that, ultimately, the cards reveal their desire to reconnect with themselves rather than connect with someone else. The strength we admire in a lover, for example, can be a desire to find those things in ourselves (and often, it’s already there but it goes unnoticed).
- What do I love myself for?
- What qualities in myself do I want others to notice and love about me?
- What do others love about me that I am not aware of?
- What about myself do I need to love and appreciate more?
‘Good’ Tarot Cards to See in Love Readings
Let’s just get one thing out of the way first: There are no bad cards in tarot. All of them — yes, even the dreaded Tower (XVI) — are neutral windows into our individual and collective experiences. The idea is to find the message in the cards and see what resonates from their collective messages into our personal lives.
That said, there are some cards that can be considered auspicious to get in a love reading. The best cards to see in a love reading include:
- The Fool: The Fool is a symbol of new beginnings and the happiness that comes with it. This can signal the start of or hope for the start of a new relationship. Think of it as the honeymoon phase of a relationship where all energy is receptive and malleable into something long-term or just a casual situationship. There’s a sense of worry-free enjoyment that’s embodied in the Fool.
- Two of Cups: Two of Cups is what Thoth decks call “Love”. It is symbolic of Venus in Cancer where emotions are powerful and receptive. On a personal note, this can mean an easy and at-ease love where there seems to be clear understanding between two people and a sense of security with passion, not passion that leaves you feeling on edge and unstable.
- Four of Wands: The Fours of the tarot denote stability and in the case of Four of Wands, we find stability and celebration. In traditional Rider-Waite decks, the Four of Wands is represented by four poles draped with flowers, two figures beneath them in a celebratory pose, and a castle in the background. The Four of Wands in a love reading can mean the start of building something long-term with a love, like a marriage or any form of domestic partnership, and/or a relationship where the parties are supportive of each other.
- The Empress or the Emperor: The Empress and the Emperor are the archetypal mother and father of the major arcana. The Emperor represents personal power, the ability to establish healthy boundaries, and create structure, while the Empress represents nourishment and creative energy or, in other words, nourishing someone from a place of power, without having to sacrifice your own well-being. In the Emperor and Empress, we find the stable lover who exhibits passion and provides security.
- The Queen of Wands: The Queen of Wands represents a dominant feminine energy that embodies creative fire. If seen in a reading asking about a lover or someone you’re interested in, this may indicate that you see them as someone independent and fiercely driven. If reading for a potential or current relationship, this could be a sign of a person or unity where you’re driven to tap into the best of your potential.
- The Hermit: The Hermit doesn’t make it to a lot of good tarot card lists for love readings because of its solitary imagery, but instead of taking it as a negative, the Hermit can instead be a sign that it’s time to turn inward and find the love we’ve long denied ourselves from ourselves. You may be tired now and beginning to feel as if nothing is going right for you in love, but maybe what you’re looking for already exists within you and maybe, just maybe, it’s time to take stock of the unhealthy patterns that result in these unsuccessful ventures into love.
- Eight of Cups: The Eight of Cups is another card that people usually don’t see as a good love reading card because of its connotations of leaving things behind. But you’ll notice that in most decks, it’s represented by a figure calmly walking away from 8 full cups. Other people may not understand why this person is leaving behind what seems to be a good situation, but the figure knows it’s time to move on and find new areas of growth. With Eight of Cups, we see the realization that an emotional breakthrough needs to be made — and maybe the path to a nourishing, creating love is to abandon what is comfortable now.
- The Hanged Man: The Hanged Man is a card of changing perspectives and ultimate surrender. If you are emotionally closed off, the Hanged Man tells you to trust in the process and open yourself up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in order to foster connection. It can also be a sign that the things you want in a lover are not the things you need hence the need to change your perspective. Relax and abandon old modes of thinking and feeling.
- The Lovers: Perfect unity, need we say more? That said, the Lovers are also the card of choice and making choices as well as asking yourself ‘Is this what I really desire? Does this make me feel full with love?’
- Eight of Wands: Eight of Wands is called ‘Swiftness’ in Thoth decks and it represents fast, sudden movement forward. This can mean a rush of emotion, a sudden and intense crush, or a relationship that moves forward faster than you’d normally feel comfortable with but that you feel no resistance towards.
- The Hierophant: The Hierophant has a very straightforward and even blunt meaning — convention, religion, an established order. In love, it can be symbolic of the hieros gamos or sacred marriage, an equal and balanced partnership, especially one made official (a.k.a marriage).
Love has many different faces and phases, understanding the ways it appears and makes itself known in our lives can help us tap into the power of our emotions. These love readings for singles, at the very least, can help you feel not so left out this Valentine’s Day.