The Year 2020 in Limericks

It’s no secret that 2020 was potentially the worst year in human history. From the beginning of the year to the end, the landslide of unfortunate events seemed to get more and more ridiculous with every passing day. Luckily, we made it to the other side, and I hope everyone out there is as happy and healthy as they can possibly be despite all of the undeniably awful events that occurred last year.

As we know from the works of Edgar Allen Poe or Thomas Hardy, poetry can often serve as a way of coping with seemingly hopeless situations. That is why I’ve decided to recount some of the events of 2020 in a series of poems.

The limerick poem is a particularly jovial and comical poetic form, and I thought that it was the best form for touching on this horrific year so as not to make these poems too overly depressing. Rather, I hope that we can look back on this black void of a year with a cautious sense of humor and, in doing so, remind ourselves that it really can only go up from here.

Without further ado, this is the year 2020 in limericks:

A year that starts with koalas’ homes
In the Land Down Under up in smoke.
Those cuddly faces 
Engulfed in blazes,
A shitty start, but still we had hope. 

A virus born, some say in Wuhan
Now we have no use for our Groupons.
Now many we mourn,
Normality torn,
Still some think that it’s all just hoopla. 

Sorrows, boredom already abound.
The words “Kobe died” an awful sound.
We can’t even watch 
His fadeaway drop. 
We’ll miss Kobe exciting the crowd. 

24’s death, it seemed like a lie.
Then Putin and Trump talked on the sly.
Impeachment ensued, 
Our mood further blued.
Turn off the news, just watch Parasite. 

Sweatpants for days, our hearts were in pain. 
Wallets were too, no more than one day. 
In March on the sixth
Dow Jones dropped like bricks.
Guess I’ll never vacation in Spain. 

Problems graver than travel arose, 
Problems of race, a problem of old. 
So RIP George.
It’s love we must forge. 
Under black skin is a human soul. 

This year is bad, it wasn’t the best. 
Then murder hornets came to the West.
I’m so lost for words. 
Bees the size of birds???
Surely this shitshow’s hitting its crest. 

But no, the woes just kept piling on. 
A boom in Beirut, a manure bomb.
Ammonium sucks, 
A factory crushed. 
At least in Cali our trees stand strong. 

“Nope!” said the malicious wheel of chance.
Trees dropped like it’s hot, a fiery dance. 
Ancient redwoods gone 
Like bud in Frisco bongs.
The state was on fire just like Trump’s pants.

A big breath of life for women’s rights, 
Sadly her day in turn came to night. 
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Dimmed like a cinder. 
Her fire, her work still radiates light.

A tragic comedy this year seemed.
“Trump has COVID!” read most magazines. 
Not a soul agasp,
Should’ve worn that mask. 
Then came a flurry of Fauci memes. 

But before you go and hire your hearse,
Biden is prez, for better or worse, 
Trump’s face has gone white.
No, wait, that’s not right. 
Goodbye to spray tans and Twitter blurbs. 

Here we are in 2021.
QAnon Shaman’s been having fun. 
The Capitol’s stormed, 
I still feel forlorn, 
Still quarantined, I don’t see the sun. 

Let’s look at the bright side, shall we, friends?
Will this year suck too? Well, that depends. 
Let’s get together, 
Hope COVID’s better. 
Here’s to the future, and last year’s end. 

There you have it. Let’s all take a deep breath and thank our lucky stars that we made it through 2020. It wasn’t all bad though. SpaceX sent two astronauts into space in 2020, the world was given perhaps the most ridiculous documentary of all time Tiger King, and Columbus, Ohio was almost renamed “Flavortown” in honor of Guy Fieri.

All that being said, I’m glad 2020 is dead and gone. Let’s hope 2021 is a whole lot better.