Why even write this article? Everyone knows what a plumbus is. You probably have a plumbus sitting in your home right now, they’re about as common as a sponge or a Swiffer!
In all seriousness, if you haven’t the slightest clue what a plumbus is, you’re not alone. This mysterious device is from the popular Adult Swim cartoon Rick and Morty first emerged in the “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate” episode. The segment of the episode in which it appears seems to be a parody of How Do They Do It? on the Discovery Channel; however, the Rick and Morty version intentionally creates more questions than it answers.
After painstakingly researching the concept, origins, and applications of the plumbus, it’s still nearly impossible to decipher what exactly a plumbus is. It’s unclear whether or not Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon, the creators of Rick and Morty, even know what it is. But let’s give it a shot anyway.
Plumbus at a Glance
In order to make the common household item known as a plumbus, you first have to cut the dinglebop. Next, you smooth out the dinglebop with a bunch of shleem, which eventually gets repurposed for later batches. You then must take the dinglebop and push it through the krumbo. Once it has crossed over to the other side of the krumbo, you must rub a fleeb against it to create fleeb juice.
The next step, and this is crucial, is that a shlami shows up and rubs the dinglebop and then spits on it. Finally, the ploobus and krumbo are shaved away, and boom, you have a plumbus.
Now, I know this process may seem complicated, which is why it’s taken experts years to perfect the complex process of plumbus fabrication. But great work reaps great rewards, which is why you see plumbuses in nearly every household around the multiverse today.
The plumbus looks as if it’s made of some sort of organic, fleshy substance. And although it is not explicitly made for sexual purposes, it would be foolish to think that no one’s ever tried getting a little frisky with their plumbus at home. It’s your plumbus, do what you want with it!
Plumbus Owner’s Manual
The best way to get a better, yet still vague, idea of what a plumbus is would be to order a physical copy of Rick and Morty: The Complete Second Season on DVD and Blu-ray Collector’s Edition. It comes with two actual paper owner’s manuals, one in an undisclosed alien language and the other in English. Unless you’re fluent in imaginary alien languages, you can read the English version and learn everything there is to know about the plumbus, which isn’t a whole lot.
Most of the manual is complete and utter nonsense. There’s a section about accessories that you can get for your plumbus, which include a protective diaper, handling cream, and an officially licensed shleem film. There’s a section about how if your plumbus cannot climb stairs, as it obviously should be able to, then you’ll need to trim its floob. Ah, how did I not think to trim its floob?
What Does It Do?
Amid this sea of nonsensical and indecipherable information, we’ve been given a few more pieces of the puzzle as to what a plumbus does.
- Plays music. One page in the owner’s manual mentions that the plumbus can be placed in a playback dock, and even includes a picture of the playback dock. Since the buttons on the playback dock look almost identical to those on an old boombox, we can assume that plumbuses can play music.
- Transmits radio waves. It is also mentioned that plumbuses have an airplane mode. And since airplane mode on every other device means that radio transmissions are cut off, we can assume that plumbuses have the ability to transmit radio waves.
- Conserves and generates heat. The owner’s manual clearly states that the plumbus is able to produce enough heat to cook food. Also, since it’s implied that plumbuses are made of organic tissue, and that they can transmit radio waves, it makes sense that they should also be able to generate heat.
Now that you know the basic uses of the plumbus, let’s talk about how you can get your hands on your very own.
Get Your Own Plumbus
Since the premier of the “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate” episode, people all around Earth have been looking into new and inventive ways to create their own plumbuses. I mean, with the wide-ranging uses of a plumbus, who wouldn’t want one for their own home or office? Unfortunately, dinglebops are very difficult to find here on Earth, and not many of us have the contact for a good shlami saved in our phones, but that hasn’t stopped people from trying!
People have been using 3D printers to create their own plumbuses, even going through the important fleeb cutting process in a virtual space. And in my professional opinion, I’d say their plumbuses didn’t come out half bad!
A New York City pizza place called Vinnie’s Pizza took a different angle on the plumbus, making a plumbus-shaped pizza. And while that pizza may not have as many household uses as a real plumbus, it arguably looks even more delicious.
I’d encourage any Rick and Morty fans out there to take a stab at making their own plumbus. However, if you’re too busy rewatching the fourth season or you’re not the creative type, you can buy your own plumbus on Amazon and still reap all the benefits! Does it cost more or less than six-and-a-half Brapples? Can someone help me with that conversion?
Remember that a plumbus will not function properly if not handled with love. And this will come naturally to any Muslim readers out there, but always remember to face east while using your plumbus.
Already own a plumbus? You might want to consider upgrading to the upcoming Plumbus X.