If there’s one thing that the internet is good for, it’s enlightening you on just how strange some people out there are. From the propagation of weird memes (such as that nightmarish “stonks” face) to Meru the Succubus fanboys to people on 4chan turning frog cartoons into symbols of hatred, the internet is an incubator for the most bizarre parts of human nature.
All of us have contributed to this weirdness at some point or another. Surely, you’ve found yourself on some strange web pages in the wee hours of the morning, wondering why the hell you’re consuming this needless information but finding yourself unable to stop reading, looking, or watching.
One of the best internet addresses for anonymously interacting with weirdos (and being a weirdo yourself) is Quora.com, the social question-and-answer site that acts sort of like a public, open-source think tank.
Often, you find some really helpful and meaningful discussion on the site. Quora users sometimes help other users find the information they need, learn about the world they live in, and even work through emotional or mental turmoil.
However, there are other questions on Quora that are just straight-up dumb and weird. You’ve heard the quote: “The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.” Nah. These are very stupid questions.
I’m not saying I’m the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can recognize genuine idiocy when I see it. I should thank these fools who brought their insanely odd and mind-numbing questions to Quora, though. If they hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had countless hours of uncontrollable laughter and I wouldn’t be able to write this article. So, let’s get into it. Let’s analyze some of the weirdest, funniest, and dumbest questions on Quora.com
What if a Potato Flew Around My Room?
This question has to come first because it was really the inspiration for this entire article. What on Earth was going through this person’s mind when they decided to pose this question to the internet. I want to say that this was meant as a joke, but something deep inside of me tells me that this person was coming from a place of genuine concern, which makes me genuinely concerned for them.
Is it at all possible that a potato did, in fact, levitate around this person’s room? I don’t know all the secrets of the universe. Perhaps this was a true instance of a flying potato.
The way I see it, there are a couple of possible explanations for this strange phenomenon. Maybe this person took entirely too much LSD and hallucinated the flying potato. Maybe we’re dealing with a paranormal entity that has a particular affinity for potatoes. Maybe this person has beef with their roommate and the argument escalated to the point of potato-throwing. Or, perhaps, potatoes have been sentient for years, but have been in a state of silent meditation. And, after years and years of contemplating the nature of matter and reality, have achieved a state of weightlessness that allows them to fly around people’s rooms. Just a thought.
Does a Minute Really Pass Every 60 Seconds in Africa?
This is one of those things that’s so stupid that you have to read it several times to make sure you’re not missing something. It’s so dumb that it’s actually confusing. And, similar to the previous question, something tells me that this question was not posed as a joke whatsoever.
After the question, the author also included: “I want to know if this heartbreaking information is really true before I donate to the petition to stop this from happening.” Once again, I am so confused. What is heartbreaking about one minute passing? What petition is this person referring to? The one to stop time in Africa? What’s going on here?
One of the best parts about this question is the fact that it actually got quite a few responses, some of them acting as if it was a joke and others attempting to give genuine advice. Things got pretty metaphysical when some “self-taught philosopher” decided to write a several-paragraph proof of how 60 seconds is, indeed, equal to one minute. It seems like that douche inspired other douches to join the party, as someone else wrote a response about creating tiny black holes to solve this problem. A question as stupid as this one does not deserve such in-depth answers. Any and all Africans are encouraged to leave a comment about how you feel about this buffoonish question down below.
When Was Walking Invented? Was It Invented in 1938?
Before the year 1938, Homo sapiens crawled around on all fours. Remember the United States Civil War? Did you know that the soldiers in that war fought on their knees? The first bicycle was invented in 1817, but walking wasn’t invented until 1938. Makes sense to me. Apparently, the oldest shoes ever discovered are around 7,000 years old, but those were just for fashion, not for walking.
In all seriousness, what’s up with 1938? Why was this the year that was chosen? In 1938, the Nazi regime was just starting to get aggressive. Is there some connection between that and the invention of walking?
Anyway, this question received one of the best responses I’ve ever seen on Quora: “Contrary to popular belief, walking was, in fact, invented in 1938 when Shaggy, Batman, and Garfield had to leave their celestial thrones to descend upon us mere mortals to grace us with the gifts of the 20th century, like breathing oxygen and pasta.” There you go. Shaggy, Batman, and Garfield are not only responsible for the invention of walking, but also for breathing and pasta. It’s interesting to me that Garfield invented pasta, but prefers lasagna.
What Is a Thicc Boi?
Nope. I’m not touching this one with a 10-foot pole. I don’t know if this question was posted by some dad who read an iMessage over his daughter’s shoulder or something, but there’s no way I’m going to explain what a “thicc boi” is in this article. Sorry.
If you really must know what a thicc boi is, try doing a Google search for Dick Cheney, one of the most notorious thicc bois of all time (who also shot someone, let us not forget). Other well-known thicc bois include Al Roker, King Henry VIII, and Wario.
Can You Survive an Arrow to the Head?
I don’t know why I find this question so hilarious. Is this person planning on getting shot in the head by an arrow? Are they afraid that Robin Hood is out to get them? Maybe they’re planning to commit murder, can’t get their hands on any weapon more lethal than a bow, and want to make sure they can still finish the job. To whoever posted that question: if murder is your motive, don’t do it. Violence is not the answer.
If your motive for asking this question is that you anticipate getting shot in the head with an arrow, then you either have some serious paranoia that you should probably work on or you have some very old-school enemies. To answer your question, I’d say that you have a pretty slim chance of survival after being struck with a skull-piercing arrow. Sharp objects in your brain usually lead to death.